Kobe Bryant Sucks

"Yo, Allen Iverson's my favorite basketball player, I liked him in college," proclaimed a young, intelligent sixth grader. "Then my favorite player's Kobe," replied his friend. "What? For real? Kobe? Why? He skipped college, he's not even that good! He's so cocky, and, and he's not even that good...now I have to hate him," thought the smarter of the adolescents.

I still don't understand why my friend Joe started to like Kobe Bryant, he hadn't proven anything, he wasn't even like the third option on his team. Eddie Jones was way better than Kobe. But still, Joe had to like Kobe...and of course Kobe started to blossom. While my boy AI was being labeled selfish, one dimensional, a loser...Kobe was being praised, compared to Money (Jordan), and slowly he became a star. The race for supremacy between Iverson and Kobe was neck and neck for a while, but I had my mind made up the whole time. Even if Iverson isn't the best player in the game, I will never admit that it's Kobe.

I think it's fair to say that over the past five or six seasons, Kobe's been a top-5 player in the league. He's led the league in scoring, been a top defender, a guaranteed all-star starter, an Olympian, a magazine cover boy, a spokesman (before Colorado, and then a couple of years again after Colorado)...you get the message. Few basketball players, athletes even, have achieved the success and popularity that Kobe has over the past decade...and I've hated him the whole time.

I've prayed for anyone to overtake Kobe's spot as Next, even if it couldn't be Ivo. Vince Carter? Nope. T-Mac...well, he blocked Kobe's turnaround fadeaway in the All-Star game that time...but he's never won a playoff series...nope, can't be Mac. Even with the influx of talented swingmen, nobody can really compare to KB8, I mean, 24, or Mamba, all nicknames that have been created by Kobe's biggest fan...Kobe Bryant.

We're talking about someone who wanted to break up a dynasty, no scratch that, who wanted to get rid of the most important player on a team that had won three championships. What kind of pompous, narcissistic, self-centered person puts an end to his teams success so that he can shine? Who wants to get rid of the Most Dominant Ever? Is it that big of a deal to be Batman instead of Robin? If Tony Reali (stat boy to some) asked me to buy or sell Kobe being ringless if it wasn't for Shaq, I'd most likely buy.

And that's why Kobe Bryant sucks. Because we're three games into the NBA Finals, and Kobe and his team entered the series as the favorites. His team, you know, the team that he requested to be traded from because he didn't think he stood any chance of winning with them. His team, the team that continuously tried to put pieces around him that would work well with him, even though he doesn't work well with anyone, because he, the spoiled brat, doesn't like to share. Sure, the Lakers didn't get Jason Kidd, they didn't get Michael Redd, they did however, get rid of Shaq...and you know why they did? Because Kobe clearly didn't care about winning, Kobe cared about Kobe, and that's why Kobe later wanted the team that he had deprived of an extra championship to trade him to a "contender."

But no, Mitch, Dr. Jerry, the logo, and even Phil gave in. They did whatever they could for their spoiled child. They brought in Pau Gasol and eventually the talent that they had acquired since getting rid of the best center since Kareem, with apologies to Hakeem, all came into place. Now his team is The contender, and he's up for that fourth ring that I sold him ever coming close to.

Even if Kobe Bryant doesn't win a championship, you'll remember 2008 as the year Kobe learned how to share. As the season Kobe learned it was more important to put the team first, and the season he learned how to play team basketball. You'll remember Kobe for beating out budding stars like Bron and CP3 to win his first MVP award, and then dethroning the defending champs with ease. And clearly if the Lakers do happen to win, you'll remember Kobe's heroics in the Finals, and him hoisting Larry O'Briens solid gold basketball with that big devilish grin on his face, saying all the right things to Stu Scott, thanking his fans, family, and his teammates.

All of your memories will be fitting, for Kobe did (and possibly will) create them. He elevated his game this season, he deserved the awards, and the Lakers truly had an impressive season. Although I'll share those memories with you, I won't. It's too late for this guy in my book, and it isn't only because of Joe. It's because of Shaq, and then later Caron Butler. It's because of the airball in the playoffs. It's because he changed his number to 24 (one better than Money? I think not). It's because of Game 7 against Phoenix in '06. It's because of Raja Bell and Ruben Patterson, the "Kobe Stoppers." Its because of the throwback jerseys when they were played out, the ugly "fancy" suits, the commercials where the great Kobe Knievel would daringly jump over snakes and cars. And it's because I just don't like phony people.

There is one good memory I'll always have of Kobe, and it came against my beloved Knicks. No it's not that monster reverse dunk at the Garden a couple of years ago, it actually happened in Hollywood, on a dead ball. I guess Chris Childs and Jared Mintz shared similar feelings towards Mamba at one-point in time, which resulted in a right jab to Mr. Bryant's jaw.

Confidence is cool, arrogance is lame. Kobe could win MVP's and championships from now until the day he retires, but he'll always suck in my eyes. Besides, LeBron James is Next anyway.